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Can Type 9 Have A Good Relationship With Type 8?

enneagram relationship enneagram test good relationship studying enneagram type 8 type 9 May 04, 2021

Compatibility depends heavily on the personal state of each Enneagram type. We all know that love and friendship often transcend obstacles and social boundaries, but is this true for types 8 and 9? Lets explore.


Type 8 – The Challenger

Type 8’s are powerful, dominating and willful types with a strong self confidence and confrontational nature. When balanced, these people become an inspiration and motivation to others, leading them to greatness. When unbalanced, eights can be confrontational and intimidating. They often struggle with being vulnerable or showing their softer side to anyone, but once they do, the are wonderfully caring and open-hearted. 


Type 9 – The Peacemaker

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At their root, type 9’s are agreeable, complacent and easygoing. They will avoid conflict at all costs and tend to be too willing to go along with others. When balanced, peacemakers are creative, optimistic and supportive and have the ability to bring people together.  When unbalanced, they are stubborn, anxious and worried. 

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The type 8-9 relationship

On their best days type 8’s and 9’s can have a good relationship, whether it is romantic, professional or as friends. When healthy, both these types will bring greatness to the relationship - inspiring and motivating each other.

Eights bring positive leadership qualities to the table. They have a positive attitude that others look up to and rely on. A true nine will admire these qualities and may seek out eights as friends and partners because of their positive and fearless attitude, and in turn they will offer stability and and accepting environment for the nine. 

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This supportive environment created by the peacemaker can motivate and encourage challengers to carry on in their never ending challenge for control. At their hearts, eights are most afraid of being controlled and losing control of their lives, and nines will rarely steep to this point as it is not in their nature.

In a romantic relationship, types eight and nine are like fire and water, each being able to challenge the other on their weak points. Eights can teach nines to be more assertive and less complacent, thereby enabling them to stand up for themselves. On the other hand, nines can teach eights to pick their battles and be more accepting of differences.

In the end, both these types have powerful drives and strong willpower. They prefer comfort and simplicity and a safe retreat from the world. When they work together, this pair can be dynamic and powerful but also comfortable and receptive at the same time.


Note of warning

When both sides of this relationship deteriorates, it becomes a destructive force to be reckoned with. As eighths will push harder and harder to have their energy met, so the nine will retreat deeper and deeper into an emotionally unresponsive state. At its worst, this archetypal Enneagram relationship will deteriorate into a domestic war raged between an assertive abuser and an unresponsive victim, littered with verbal and even physical abuse.


If you still don't know your Enneagram Type visit The Enneagram Queen as soon as possible and take the test! You will not regret it!