Loving an Enneagram Type Eight: Tips & Insights
All of the 9 Enneagram types have their weak points, and when it comes to loving them it can be challenging. Each of the Enneagram types, in their healthy state, has a lot to offer, from love and acceptance to inspiration and motivation.
On the dark side, when they are unhealthy or unbalanced, each of these types have serious issues they are faced with on a daily basis. Having said that, Type 8 – the challenger, when they are at their worst, can be a very challenging person to love for several reasons.
The Challenger – Type 8
In short, type eights are self-confident, strong and assertive people with an indefinite need to control their environment and the people in it. They are protective of everything and everyone around them, including themselves, while being resourceful, straight-talking and decisive. When unbalanced, challengers can be ego-centric and domineering, often resorting to confrontational and intimidating.
As a result of this they often have temper control problems, and have difficulty in being vulnerable, which are often great issues in relationships. Linked to this are serious trust issues often seen in type eights, something that can cause many problems in a relationship.
When they are healthy, type eights are self- mastering, using their strengths to lead, motivate and improve others' lives. Typical heroes are often type eights, with inspiring and magnanimous personalities.
How do you love a type eight?
Given the fact that they like to be in control at all times, one would think that type eights would prefer a submissive and complacent partner, but the opposite is true. Challengers have a strong personality that only thrives when it is challenged itself.
Despite their controlling nature, challengers do best when matched with a partner who will stand up to them and call them on their faults, in a loving way. Despite their strong and aggressive exterior, all type eights want a safe environment to live in. A partner or friend that can provide a loving and accepting environment will earn their trust and inevitably, their love, although it may need to be through extreme persistence and endurance.
So, if you are the friend of an eight, or in love with an eight – these are going to be the cornerstones of your relationship.
Honesty and acceptance. We all know the key to loving someone is accepting their weak points, and if you can do that, loving them becomes easy.
This puts the responsibility on the lover – what traits are you willing to tolerate and which not? Simply by the merit of these points, any one of the Enneagram types can be very difficult to love, simply depending on what you are willing to tolerate.
The best advice I can offer is to know who you are, and to know your partner. This is best done by getting an outside perspective like doing an Enneagram personality test. This test will reveal your weak and strong points, and what areas you should improve on. Similarly, this can be done for your partner, and together, you can work on loving each other despite your weaknesses.