How the Enneagram Queen Personality Test Changed My Life
As a Mom, I Have Very Little Time to Myself.
With a four-year-old and a seven-year-old dominating the house, I thought that my frazzled, anxious state of being was the norm. After all, that’s just what being a mom to young kids is about, right? You’re constantly stressed, overworked, and underappreciated. There is always more to be done, from cleaning to prepping meals to taking care of scrapes and bruises. I thought I would be stuck with this mindset until they were both 18 and out of the house.
Then I discovered Enneagram Queen .
A good friend of mine recommended the site, and at first, I was sceptical. After all, most of these personality tests are sketchy at best, and scams at worst. Enneagram Queen is different. I’ve never felt so connected to a personality test result before, and as soon as I took their advice into account, I noticed an immediate change. My three “centers” were totally off before, and with their help I was able to realign them according to my personality type’s needs and change who I was both as a person and as a parent.
There are nine types of personalities according to the Enneagram test. I’m type nine—the Peacemaker. This means my personality is centered around making amends and solving problems, and my primary personality traits are receptiveness, resignation, and complacency. I want things to go well between people, and I want to solve problems for others, even at the cost of my own sanity. As soon as I got this result, I knew it was true. I’ve always wanted to soothe arguments and solve disagreements, even when it means stepping in past my own boundaries.
The other personality types are the reformer, the helper, the achiever, the individualist, the investigator, the loyalist, the enthusiast, and the challenger. Each of these personality types is decided by genetic factors and cemented by early nurturing. I’ve always been a “peacemaker” from the time I was very young—my mother likes to tell a story of how I stood between my two brothers at age four, trying to stop a fight with only my little body. This personality type definitely resonated with me immediately. I knew the personality test was right, unlike many I had taken before.
The Three Centers
My personality type is in the Instinctive center, which means that I act on instinct and emotion in response to situations in which I feel like I need to make a problem right. I was weighted heavily towards the instinctive center, mostly acting on impulse to solve problems with the kids or in the household and not considering the other centers. I was ruled by my impulses, whether it be a desire for sweet snacks to curb my stress or the urge to snap at the other kids for misbehaving. My centers were totally out of whack, with the other two—Thinking and Feeling—being totally neglected.
I was surprised at first to find out that the emotional theme for my primary center was anger, but after considering it and talking with Enneagram Queen’s specialists, I totally understood. I have a tendency to go off over small things, whether it’s dirty clothes in the hallway or toys not put away. My instinct when solving a disagreement is to yell at all parties involved, which I quickly learned was the exact wrong way to go about it. As soon as I learned about my other two centers and the importance of balancing them, I realized that I needed to make a change.
I really enjoyed the personality test, but what it highlighted the most for me was the need for change within myself. This is where Enneagram Queen’s team comes into play. Once you take the personality test and understand who you are and how you think, they’re there to give you advice and help you figure out how to make your best self from the results. I immediately received feedback on how to balance my centers and take control of my personality type. This kind of input was valuable to me because I knew I was doing something wrong when it came to managing my life and parenting.
They provided personalized guidance based on my personality test results that helped me retake my Thinking and Feeling centers and rebalance my life. I learned how to implement thinking techniques to handle conflict better, and learning how to focus more on feeling to understand others and solve problems rather than soothe the symptoms.
I never would have made it this far without trusting my friend and taking the test to see what type of person I truly was.
Better Me, Better Mom
Not only did this help me in my personal life and my relationship with my husband, it’s also made me a better parent. As a mom of two boys, I thought yelling was the only way to get through to them when there was a problem. With the assistance I got from Enneagram Queen, I developed new ways to communicate and solve problems with them that make all of us happier. Now that I’m more in touch with my Feeling center, I think about their emotions more clearly and can make decisions that will benefit all of us.
Not only am I able to solve problems with the boys better, but I’m also more in tune with their needs. Before, I was only focused on identifying and fixing immediate issues.
Now that I’m feeling more centered and focused, I’m able to help out with things that aren’t an issue yet but might become one.
I even had my boys take the test—one Achiever and one Enthusiast—so that I could better understand how to help them become naturally centered. Together, we’ve all worked on bettering ourselves and learning how to address both our needs and those of others.